My THOUGHTS ABOUT.....

Yeah.... That's exactly how I feel; stuck...
Don't know what to say that will make sense...
Heck, can't even string them words together to even align...
I've been lying here tossing and turning
Rising and falling back in bed seeking answers or are they all just questions, my thoughts?

I'm supposed to be in church but I'm seated on the edge of the bed
Assimilating a lengthy note left me by my wife
Issues of intimacy; hold me, don't hold me....
When does a hold me turn sour?
At those moments, does it matter what I want?

How does it all work out?
Where is the line between what the man is going through and meeting her needs?
He has a lot of things bombarding his mind, eyes, ears and even his nose
Work, family, ministry, finances, relationships, detractors, devils....
Oh, how they appear, plenty
How does he work it all and yet satisfy all the varied demands?

Please don't misunderstand me
My thoughts don't wander far from me and all that surrounds me
I only seek that there is no recurrence of a life shortened some 37years ago
A shortening that left an emptiness that's not been filled completely
Tears yet to dry, almost 40years on
Hey, what's an almost 4 decade old matter got to do with today?
Wish I could answer that, but I can't cos I don't know

I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams, even in the face of the foundations
I've been given treasure in one and that's no joke
I will yet soar higher to that pinnacle
Alas, I need help; her needs sometimes arise just when mine do
Most often than not, going in the opposite direction
So what do I do? I run..... Yeah....

Hidden in a book, a game or a movie; I seek refuge
A wrong move you might say but it seems to hold, only for a while though
I seek to hide but my vision is blurred so the pictures just flash away
For I see none
Till I return to the manufacturer
The source of it all; the Most High....
Crying out to Him to do something real quick
He's is the only solution I can see that makes sense.

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