Waiting; AN EXERCISE IN GROWTH

Hey, greetings to you. I got this from a friend and thought I'd share it with you. I said a friend, but this friend is actually a couple. They've had to go thru some grey, maybe dark spots but some how, by God's grace they stand. So here is the excerpt about confrontation: Relationships: REALITY CHECKS FOR CONFRONTATION   "What men fear most is criticism and rejection. That doesn't mean that you    can't tell him anything --you can. But you have to see if how you're    doing it is working or not." (Dr. Phil McGraw)   "Maybe you won't get through to the other person as long as you keep    approaching him the way you always do." (Michael Nichols)   Confronting each other when we have a problem can be most difficult,    because if we don't do it right we can make the situation even worse than    before.   That's why one of our dear friends calls confrontation in a relationship,    such as marriage, "CARE-frontation," because we're to confront them in a    caring way --speaking the truth in love.   On this subject, we'd like to share thoughts written by Dennis and Barbara    Rainey featured in their book, "Moments Together for Couples...Devotions    for Drawing Near to God and One Another," published by Regal Books. This    particular sample devotion is called, "Reality Checks for Confrontations."    Please note, however, that we inserted appropriate scripture verses in    brackets to further emphasize their excellent points. On this subject they    wrote:   "As important as it is to be able to lovingly confront your mate when you    have a conflict, it is also important not to be judgmental. It's essential    that you don't just see your spouse' flaws while ignoring your own. Here    are some reality checks Barbara and I have found useful:   1. "CHECK YOUR MOTIVATION. Do you want to help or hurt by what you say? Will bringing this up to lead to healing and oneness? Prayer is a good      barometer of motivation. When you take your situation to God you can      usually see your motivation for what it is.      ["Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him        who is that Head, that is Christ. -Ephesians 4:15]     ["Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only        what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that        it may benefit those who listen. - Philippians 4:29]   2. "CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE. Loving confrontation says: 'I care about you. I respect you and I want you to respect me. I want you to know how I      feel, but I want to know how YOU feel, too.' Don't hop on your      bulldozer and run your partner down. Don't pull up in your dump truck      and unload your garbage. Approach your partner lovingly.     ["Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility        consider others better than yourself. -Philippians 2:3]   3. "CHECK THE CIRCUMSTANCES. This includes timing, location and setting. The time for Barbara to confront me is not just as I walk in from a      hard day's work. I need to confront her some time when she isn't      settling a squabble with the kids.     ["A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. -       Proverbs 25:11]   4. "CHECK TO SEE WHAT OTHER PRESSURES MAY BE PRESENT. Be sensitive to where your mate is coming from. What's the context of his or her life right now?     ["He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will        come to ruin. -Proverbs 13:3]     ["There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to        death. -Proverbs 16:25]   5. "BE READY TO TAKE IT AS WELL AS TO DISH IT OUT. Sometimes confronting your mate can boomerang on you. Beware of what psychologists call 'projecting' --seeing your own faults in others. You may start to give      your spouse some 'friendly advice' only to learn that the problem you      are describing is actually your fault!     ["A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his        own opinions. -Proverbs 18:2]     ["And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but        do not notice the log that is in your own eye? -Matthew 7:3]   DISCUSS: "Think back to a confrontation that didn't go especially well.    Can you determine whether more attention to one or more of the above    suggestions may have made a more fruitful discussion?   PRAY: "for the courage to confront and the love for self-awareness to keep such episodes as positive contributors to intimacy in your home."   .....................................................   The Bible tells us in Titus 3:2, to "Remind the people to ...be ready to    do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate,    and to show true humility toward all men." And so please consider yourself    reminded, as we're reminded ourselves, as husband and wife.   "Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you    know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel;    instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those    who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant    them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they    will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has    taken them captive to do his will" (2 Timothy 2:23-26).   "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for    the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling    and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to    one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you"    (Ephesians 4:30-32).   Live out the Word as you love your mate this week!       For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.       "In prayer; expect setbacks, but refuse retreat. R. Eastman               Exposure To The Son Will Prevent Burning               Seven days without prayer makes one weak!             Do your best; bring out the best in others,             Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,               tell the problem how Great the Lord is!                   Put God first, be happy at last!